A New Life

How does one celebrate a new beginning? How do you put your mark on the period of time in which you feel refreshed and renewed and ready to take on the world? Why, by partaking in coagulated soy milk of course!!!!

On Ash Wednesday, I officially became a vegetarian (will continue after Lent, thought) but in 39 years (39 years last Thursday) I had never tried tofu. Had heard good, had heard bad, was intrigued, was nervous. While fairly open minded, as a compulsive overeater, I hesitate to "waste" my meals on something I may not like. This is why I never eat fish in restaurants. If I am eating out, then I am not going to waste the experience on fish...but I digress. Anyway, had the tofu...to step back from congratulating myself too much, it was seasoned and I had it on a bed of rice with black beans, salsa, cheese and guacamole. Honestly, I can't think of much I would turn down, if it was covered in guacamole, but I did take a taste of the tofu by itself and it was good. Consistency of a baked egg kind of. Fluffy. (Next up? Soy chirizo I bought on Friday!!!!)

Anyway, this is something on my list of things to try and do. And truth be told, it's one of the easier ones. I don't know the time and expense involved in learning to fence...I do know the time and effort involved in training to run a half marathon...I know the odds of becoming published...I have learned, lo these many years, the odds of finding someone with talent and skill to teach me to play tennis...tofu, though, represents something to me today. It represents a step into the direction in which nothing is off limits.

Things have shifted, for a number of reasons. I'm going to be 40 in 361 days...I see the end of my marriage in sight and I see a light at the end of the tunnel (and for once it isn't a train!!!). I have remembered parts of myself that I had forgotten (good sex is involved in this discovery...but that may be a different post).

And I feel like, for the first time in a long time, that there is something with me, something bigger than myself helping out. My Higher Power/God/Invisible Cloud Being is dealing me a solid and throwing me a bone. Right now, I'm in a good place on my journey. And that's what I've come to view it as. A journey. I've found some people to assist me on that. I'm working on getting rid of some. But it all feels open. My journey will hit some bumps, no doubt...but for the first time, possibly ever, I'm enjoying the ride.

Today I got in my car and drove with McG on a "girl road trip" for no other reason than to get out of town. I LOVE road trips, always have. Traveling by car is by far my favorite way and I told McG that she will be a fully developed "Road Trip Chick" by the time we're done. We sang Sweet Home Alabama, we used disgusting road side rest rooms...J. pointed out that she can't truly be a "Road Trip Chick" until we've showered in a truck stop. And to be honest, we have not partaken of any jerky products, but hitting the open road, even through Illinois, just makes me feel so free.

Someone asked a friend of mine (and it's a big question in 12 step it seems), "What would you do if you had no fear". I don't feel like fear has really stopped me from doing much. It's more the "No time" "No money" "Other things take priority". I need to start being my priority. I can still be a good mother, a good worker and make myself a priority.

So I tried tofu. Now I just need to track down a sword...