Boundaries

I looked up the word "Boundaries" and picture and got this. Cool picture but I'm not sure about the boundary tie. So boundaries. I wish my disease had some. I am not used to denying my disease when it throws a tantrum and acts like a petulant child. But I am. I am refusing to give in. If I could only give it a time out!!! Now, my disease is starting in with "You know, your experiment, where you don't keep track of your calories, is totally going to blow up in your face..." "Don't say I didn't warn you..." "Wow! 1 whole month wasted! That's gonna sting!" Thursday was my worst day so far. It was the suckiest day in the history of the world. EVER!!! Okay, not ever, but still, not great. After a wonderful meeting, my disease was STILL debating between ice cream at Sonic or ice cream at McDonalds. I just kept driving. And I don't say this for praise or admiration. It's hard and I hate it and it sucks and this morning, my disease is debating over a banana or peanut butter cups. So far, the banana is winning, so okay...1 day at a time. And pray, dumb ass! I just keep forgetting!!!
Boundaries. I'm not going into the specifics here, because it will either make me seem irrational or...yeah, it's probably just going to do that. There are certain things I don't want to know. And there are certain things I don't mind hearing after I've known someone an appropriate amount of time. Once I've known someone, as a friend, for a certain amount of time (and I have no idea that time) then there is no subject that is off the table. That being said, what about relationship boundaries? It's been so long since I've started a relationship, I'm not sure what the rules are. Scratch that. I know my rules. How do I express those to someone else? M & I know all the rules. There are certain things we do not discuss and never have. And that is something that has worked well. Man, this is so vague! Okay, bodily functions, let's say for an example. We never discussed it. Some people do. For God's sake, my dad goes to the bathroom in front of my stepmom and thinks nothing of it and it totally makes me want to just ewwww. (These are both people with no health issues, just to qualify). I mean, if someone I love needs help, I'm going to do what needs to be done, without a moments hesitation. If you don't need help, then I'm out of there! And living in a house with 2 bathrooms definitely helps. Okay, this is getting rambly. Not sure where it's going. I guess I'm going to have to remember that no one is perfect. That people have issues, just like I have issues. That people seem perfect for a period of time and then they don't. And the imperfect person is never going to live up to the perfect image, but the perfect image doesn't really exist anywhere but in my head. Man, I feel off my game today. I blame my disease. And my mother. Always blame the mother!
Dear God,
Forgive my mother! :) Just kidding. Help me fight my disease.
Love,
Shannon
Date Part Deux tonight. We'll see!